May 8, 2016
What is a marriage on the rocks? In the dictionnary, I find this explanation : 1. likely to fail because of serious problems. The next question is : when do you consider a problem to be serious? And that’s where the compass of your heart helps. If you have not been taught to trust your feelings and live with them in harmony, then you will be more likely to blind yourself and enter survival mode. And you don’t want your focus to be on survive but more on live.
A few days before my 15th wedding anniversary, I had a big row with my husband, on Christmas day. It was truly appalling. All our children were scared in the car thinking that we would end in a car accident on the side of the road. Thanks to the Master Key Experience, I was able to focus on what I want and accept my wrongs and decide what to do in the future to avoid the same situation.
This morning I had a row again with my husband. We both cried, overwhelmed by emotions of hurt feelings, frustration, pity, sadness and what more. My intention in my head was to help him, but in my husband’s mind, it turned out all wrong and agressive. Because I keep on interrupting him and he cannot get to the end of his sentences. My husband is definitely not spontaneous and not assertive. When I insisted that my only intention was to help him, he said reproachfully that it did not sound like it. As I can be persuasive, I told him spontaneously that if it had been 6 months ago the same situation, I would have been very selfish, insensitive, bossy, demanding and argumentative, but now, I was not anymore. He paused a while and admitted that it was true. 6 months ago, it would have been much worse!
“But still”, he said, “how can you expect to help me with what you tell me?”. I replied that I was trying at least! And only that mattered.
I did not need to argue anymore on insignificant things because I knew what I want and I embrace defenselessness now. He was all surprised that I could accept so easily being wrong in this and that. It is not important how I was before or how I do things wrong today (that I know doing wrong unwillingly and that I intend to fix with focus and persistence), because now I am the person I intend to become and I know where I am going. I know I go in the right direction anyway, with ups and downs, but I get there, surely, persistently, calmly. And my goal is to help him and love him. It’s clearly part of my goals and it’s on the walls everywhere in the house.
I have always been very curious about the fact that some couples divorce after many years of happy marriage together and several children together. How? Why? How to avoid it? Many divorced friends had told me that the love in the couple is like a fire that you need to fuel regularly with wood. Not doing so, you end up in a routine where you don’t know anything anymore.
So if you have the feeling that your marriage is on the rocks, ask yourself : “where’s my focus?” and feed the fire with some wood! There is a sentence I like a lot in the Master Keys : “Remember that thought is the fire that creates the steam that turns the wheel of fortune, upon which your experiences depend”